Facts of Life......!
This past Monday I had a chat with a very dear friend of mine and he informed me of the happenings that involved a common friend.
To start off, I just would like to say that I do really value friendships and as simple as that might sound, I do believe in the goodness of people in general. A couple of years ago my life changed tremendously and I started focussing on the value of life and I have created all these small rules/laws I live by today to ensure that the majority of my time here on earth could be guaranteed as incredible. Of coarse you can not really guarantee a great life(although it is biggest fundamental BYLAW), but you can definately improve your chances to enjoy such a life.
One of these rules/laws is that I try not to lie, bulshit or play with anyone's heart. By doing that, I will feel guilty afterwards and the other party could get terribly hurt and that will even play more or my conscious. I believe that what you see is what you get. No hidden secrets and the total truth. By being this honest and genuine, I have the tendancy to believe in the goodness in others. I think that by doing this, you open yourself to an extremely great time together, but when you fall, you fall as well just extremely hard.
But having only 10min of an extremely great life, you will never be able to substitute it. It is definately NOT replaceable. This is by looking at it at the positive side of things......
When you look at the negative side of things (which I rarely do unless I feel blocked in), I sometimes wonder when your life goes dead wrong, how people get themselves in deeper shit just because of fear. I mean, if you look back years and you see no self improvement, what do you do? If you are not happy in your normal life, but you are afraid to break away 'cause the unknown frightens the living shit out of you, what do you do? You have experienced maybe 6 months of the life you ought to have, but 'cause of these fears you are so afraid to take the risk......Well, my philosophy to this would be that if you down't risk, you will stay just where you are. A normal life does not neccessarily mean it should be a sad life. People decide to do certain things and make decisions based on the actual facts at hand by the time of making that decision. It does not neccessarily mean that it was the best decision, but it was one that suited the facts at the time.
Every day you will experience something different from the ordinary and that is why our lives eventually take different directions. Things happens to us whether we want it to or not. The key is just what you will do to survive it. Bad things do happen and we tend to call it bad things when it doesn't suit our approval or came unplanned or unforceen. Well, it is not neccessarily bad, it is just different and when you learn to accept it, it will become known as normal. But, one should not force the issues of life. The things then tend to move from bad to worst.
If you look at yourself right now and you reflect what happened to you during the past the couple of years, you can definately see it might not be the ideal path of life. You did experience how life should be lived, but chose not too.....The reason for that I really do not know and only you took that decision. And now, 10 years was with real highs and with terrible lows. You chose to took the risk and you found that now it might not have been the ideal the decision.....but you were too afraid to do something else!
Now you involved another life into your situation and then does not neccessarily mean everything will be OK. Well, you should step up the play and take the responsibility of your decisions. Nothing in the world means now more then you two and you have to promise now that you will do everything in your power to guarantee that you will set a platform for you to live realistically and try to minimize all risk.
This is definately not a bad thing, it is only different. I know it is something you always wanted. Maybe the timing isn't that great, but it is here now and you should deal with it. I know you would be great in it and will bring you tremendous joy and probably later on terrible pain. I am not angry, maybe just shocked. But, I believe in you and I suggest you do the same.
I truely believe you can do it and just promise me & yourself you will never regret it. NO REGRETS as always..... Heads up and walk tall & proud!
With all my love......
SPRINGBOK NUDE GIRLS
Basically, this was one of our first real "ROCKERS" in South Africa and really their music back in the days meant a lot of weed, alcohol, sex and being a rebel.
To date this band has split up and the lead vocalist Arno Carstens went solo producing great music on his own. One of his songs played in the VW Tourec adds in South Africa (do not know if it was overseas), but amazing shit.
But, if you guys can get hold off this one song called Blue Eyes.....I mean, this was one of my greatest all time ROCK songs. You can get it on Limewire....I know, 'cause I just did....Here is the lyrics. Enjoy
BLUE EYES
We're gonna grow you up slowly
We're gonna chain you steal
Sand in the hand
We'll tell you in the end
Nester things and slumber
Well I feed my arms for love murder
Round about round about round about now
sorry to say the others didn't make it
Round about round about round about now
You're my ticket out of here
Devour you slowly
Love you today
Sand in the hand
We'll tell you in the end
Nester things and slumber
For it's a common
Round about round about round about now
sorry to say the others didn't make it
Round about round about round about now
You're my ticket out of here
Daddy's little blue eyes i come for you
I aint gonna leave her behind
Daddy's little blue eyes i come for you
I aint gonna leave you behind
Daddy's little blue eyes i come for you
I aint gonna leave her behind
Daddy's little blue eyes i come for you
I aint gonna leave her behind
Daddy's little blue eyes i come for you
I aint gonna leave her behind-hind
Leave her behind
Aint gonna leave her behind
Blue eyes
You're my ticket out of here
(Guys, really try and get this one....Amazing local shit home brewed in South Africa)
Stepping on toes....!
I know I have been a bad blogger lately. To be honest, I am not in the mood of putting my thoughts down on paper. It has been a real difficult time during the past couple of months and somehow I am really trying to find my feet again.
A couple of nights ago I spent a couple of hours going through photos from Mauritius, viewed Google Earth a couple of times and start going through my blog from Mauritius. I mean, somehow I am trying to pick myself up and trying to get back my spirit which I had back in Mauritius. Seeing all those picks and reading the posts made me realized how quick life can change in only a couple of months. In one way I do miss the island so much, but that is not what is burning inside. I have this uneasyness boiling inside and I do not know how to stop it.
I think it is my body trying to tell me this is enough. AFRICA is enough! I chatted with my boss no too long ago after watching BLOOD DIAMONDS and that made me realize how bad AFRICA really is. I'm not even talking about Leonardo's bad accent which isn't by the way South African. The words he used, yeah well.....but overall he sounded like a sick american with flu. SHAME ON YOU making us sound that bad!
Anyway, life ain't easy here. It really isn't and I do not know even if I moved somewhere else that uneasyness that stuck in my gutt will disapear. I do not even get excited thinking that I will move soon. It really feels that I am dead and sick and tired of all the shit. Everything! It feels like I need to break away from what I know is my reality and focus on myself. It feels that I need to go and search for that light that once shined in my life which brought me to levels of NON-STOP FUN.......
No, seriously. I think I had enough and know I need at least a 6 month break. MINIMUM. Thinking of spending time back on the island, tour Namibia, Australia & America....Thinking of the Caribbean quite often lately as well. The greatest thought is it might be a possibility in the next 2 months or so....I will definately consider it.
Things in France did not go off that well or for Degremont rather. I gave them 2 options and that is that they either move me now or I will resign. I am done with the way we work in Africa. The ZERO level of professionalism that they deal with projects in Africa and the way they deal with there personal. Really, I am done with that. Wether I have the option to go back to South Africa for them doesn't really bother me at all. I am burned out and I feel like a corps living on high energy drinks. Not good.
I really enjoyed the time in Germany though. Couple of really rough nights and the first starting off with me sleeping in the bathroom of a pub and drunk fucking germans shouting to call the POLIZEI.....Until they saw really how big the dude is that found the porcelyn king quite attractive. Meeting up with the banking germans was great. All of them! Joern, Kerstin, Kevin, Lars & Wolfgang and meeting up with Anne later on was also great. But, 3 days does not change someone's outlook on life. Only temporary solution.....! But Bratwurst mit brochien, Peter Styvesant's and a shit loads of beer (and something I called the South African Bomber - Double Sambuca with double Jagermeister mix) makes you dream of better days to follow.
I think I should go see a professional to maybe talk about my feelings....yeah right! Fuck that shit bru. I need more alcohol, SEX and more alcohol to get me back on track....And maybe beautiful sunsets.....Maybe go and visit Cuba! I do not think South Africans have any restrictions going to Cuba, do we?
But all out.....I am not depressed. Not at all. Just extremely tired and zero motivation and at this age it is definately not a good sign. I need to strategise and plan....."cause that is what I am good at. I am OK, alive and moving........At the moment, I am coping and the day I find myself not too, that will be it.
Surehka, I really appreicate your input and believing in me. That is why I respect you so much, 'cause you always have the right answers and the wisdom and that is why I am still here today. Thanks for standing by my side during this time. I do see it and appreciate it.
On a better note is that Dirk is back in operation with one of our affiliated companies in Australia. He is based for 3 months in Sydney I think and then he will move to Brisbane although his family is staying in Brisbane. Guys, I am glad you are doing good! My thoughts are with you always. Say hi to Dylan for me.
For now, this is it. I will update as soon as I find any changes in my path. Miss you all and have a great weekend.
Bru,
I do........! And that was it!
Life is worth nothing if you can not share it with someone special!
End for being alone, the start of being united...!
Well, the title of this blog refers only to the life of a single man. I guess from now on it will be a start of hopefully a good life between 2 incredible people.
What can I say? Last week I went to South Africa for the much enjoyable ceremony. For me it was a real quick in and out flight (2 days to be precise) only to witness the marriage of 2 good people. My former "FD" in South Africa and currently one of my best friends around and his gal (now wife).
I remember the last visit of Wayne in Mauritius where I knew that something was definately wrong. This was in July 2005 and a huge party going on at my place in F&F. People like Uma (just came back on that Saturday afternoon from Tanzania), Bruce, Sandrine & Bryce and me attended a BRAAI as usual at my place. I remember that we had this huge piece of fillet on the braai where some people referred to it as the trunk of an elephant and basically we all except Wayne ('cause as usual he was on the phone for a fucking long time) finished the meat in 10 minutes flat. I suspect that was some sort of achievement & probably a record that day. I remembered the night before was Bruce's B-day and we had a one heck of a party going at Buddah Bar and well the following events is something that I do not really want to talk about. But it was in the lines of only sleeping 20 minutes before I had to go to work, ended sleeping in the car park at the airport, got a speeding fine not because I was drunk, but 'cause I drove extremely slow and the cop couldn't even recognize that I was drunk & driving, and of coarse returning home where all the events of the previous nights started all over again.....My god!
Anyway, it became that bad where I actually wished that Wayne would leave for his hotel in Grande Baie for me to be able to get a well deserved rest.....! But of coarse that never happened! Anyway, I remember Wayne telling me about his problems and I wished for his sake that he would get out of the relationship that he founded himself in (His previous relationship and of coarse he did soon after). Wayne wasn't happy at all at that point in his life and I know he found it extremely dificult to get out of at that stage a 4 year relationship and fiancee, but he did eventually and I met up with him a couple of months later in Johannesburg and this is where I met Lisa. Man, what a gal!
Anyway, I saw Wayne transformed from extremely unhappy to a man that had everything going for himself again. I was extremly happy seeing these 2 getting married almost 2 years after. Both of them turned out to be one of my closest friends to date and both of them being extremely happy. At the end, witnessing a fairytale like this inspires everyone and make them believe that life does have more advantages then disadvantages. Life follows its own cycle and changes everyone if you let it. I believe that life always works out for the best, it is up to us not to fuck it up.
At the end, I have to say that this was one of the most spectacular weddings ever. AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL with 2 AMAZING PEOPLE. They are on their honeymoon now in Thailand & Vietnam and believe they will now come back as one unit or entity. That is what life is all about. Being special! I just want to congratulate my 2 best friends ever and wish them all the best.
Wayne & Lisa Storey, 24 February 2007.....May the fairytale live on
